This Means War 30

"Will you look at that!"

"Hmm? What?"

"Guess what today is, Hidan?"

"Uh, two days after Thursday?"

Itachi blinked a few times before speaking again. "Uh, yeah, but I mean, um, have you checked your calendar today?" the brunette asked, regaining his confidence with a smile. Hidan put down his favorite book (guess which one?) and shook his head, standing up.

"Hey, wait a minute," Hidan said, stopping on his way to his room. "How do you know that I have a calendar of dates for Jashinism?"

"Uh, because I`ve lived with you for, like, two and a half years. And you announce stupid things like: 'Today is Don`t Buy a Bra Day according to my Jashin calendar!'" Itachi said, throwing his hands up in the air as he imitated Hidan.

"I said that? I don't remember," Hidan said slowly, looking up at the ceiling as if deep in thought.

"You don`t remember anything. Now, go read it," Itachi said bluntly, ducking his head to dodge the notebook that was just launched at his head.

Itachi waited patiently in the kitchen, slowly stirring his green tea with a knife. A minute later, Hidan emerged from his room in his pajamas, clutching his stuffed sheep with a frustrated look on his face. Itachi hid his smirk by taking a gulp of his tea, walking over to the couch where Hidan had sprawled himself lazily across the mountain of pillows.

"Soooo?" Itachi asked, trying his best to sounds innocent and wondering.

"It`s Stay At Home No Matter What Day," Hidan grumbled into his sheep, squeezing it harder so that it let out a small 'squee!'.

"Aw, that sucks," Itachi said sympathetically, chugging down his green tea and his laughter.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do today?" Hidan groaned.

"Well, Kisame and I are going out on a date, so are Konan and Pein and Sasori and Deidara, so I guess . . . you can hang out with Kakuzu tonight!" Itachi said as if he just figured that out, smiling reassuringly at the Jashinist.

Hidan raised his eyebrows as if considering the idea, nodding his head into his sheep, the stuffed animal letting out a squeak with each nod.

"I heard my name," Kakuzu said, eyes narrowing suspiciously at Itachi as he entered the room.

"You did? Maybe you`re going crazy," Itachi said, getting up quickly while sipping his tea, slipping out of the living room and into the room Kakuzu just left, the shark and sadist's shared room.

"Why are you in your pajamas?" Kakuzu asked, fighting off his blush as he looked up and down Hidan`s thin frame, clad in a gigantic T-shirt and zombie pajama pants.

"Why are you not in your pajamas?" Hidan shot back.

"Because it`s 3 o`clock in the afternoon, stupid," Kakuzu said, sitting down in the chair Itachi was just in. "But really . . . you were dressed for the day earlier."

"Yeah, before I figured out that today is Stay At Home No Matter What Day!" Hidan said angrily, hitting his sheep, causing it to let out a loud, high-pitched squeak. Kakuzu raised his eyebrows.

"Are you serious?"

"What? Jashin has his ways."

" . . . You really are retarded. Like really," Kakuzu said, staring at Hidan with nothing but amazement at the fact that he's actually in love with this moron.

"Well, you`re a bitchy cocksucker, so I guess we're even," Hidan said, sticking his tongue out childishly at Kakuzu before turning on the television.


~!~@~#~$~%~^~&~*~


Sasori shrugged on his black leather jacket, examining himself in the mirror before reminding himself that he looks sexy in everything. With this thought in mind, he strutted out of his room and into the living room.

"Where`s Hidan?" Sasori asked as he walked in. Itachi stopped on his way out of the kitchen, looking Sasori up and down and rolling his eyes.

"Would it kill you to not look like a player just one time?" Itachi asked, groaning in defeat when Sasori smirked and shook his head.

"I`m sorry; I can`t do anything about my sexiness. It`s . . . natural," Sasori grinned, running a hand through his hair.

"Hidan`s in his room, talking Pein`s ear off," Kakuzu said, acting like Itachi and Sasori`s little conversation never happened. "Which reminds me . . ."

"Hmm?" Kisame said as he walked into the room, buttoning up his shirt.

"Stay At Home No Matter What Day, eh?" Kakuzu mumbled, nodding his head slowly. Itachi exchanged glances with Sasori and Kisame, biting his lip.

"Yeah, weird, isn`t it?" Sasori said, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah," Kakuzu agreed. "Pretty strange. And since it looks like Hidan and I will be alone all night, I guess I`ll just lock myself up in my room and make no physical or verbal contact to Hidan what so ever the whole night-."

"Kakuzu you bastard!" Itachi said, slapping Kisame`s shoulder in frustration.

"Ow! Why`d you hit me?" Kisame whined, rubbing his shoulder. Kakuzu smirked, standing up with his book and coffee.

"You better as hell not stay in your room all night or I swear to Jashin-!" Itachi started, ignoring his boyfriend, only to be cut off by Pein entering the room.

"What`re you guys talking about?" Pein wondered, inserting one of his many earrings into his ear.

"Your stupid plan," Kakuzu sighed.

"Ah, yes," Pein said, nodding. "Technically, it was my suggestion; Itachi`s the one who jumped on it like a rapid fangir- guy- dude . . . thing."

"Ugh, look," Itachi groaned, messing up his hair as he continuously ran his hands through it. "You can not stay in your room all night!"

"And why not?" Kakuzu asked, sipping his coffee while being highly amused.

"Because! I`m giving you a chance to-," Itachi started before glancing at Hidan and Pein`s door, making sure the TV was on in that room before he continued. "I`m giving you a chance to ask out Hidan on a fucking silver platter!"

Kakuzu sighed, draining the rest of his coffee out of his cup before setting down his book. "I guess so," Kakuzu said.

"Nervous?" Sasori asked, elbowing Kakuzu in the shoulder while grinning, clicking his tongue and raising his eyebrows. Pein and Kisame chuckled, grabbing their wallets.

"No," Kakuzu mumbled.

"Then do something! Tonight! Now! Go!" Itachi said loudly, jabbing his finger at Hidan`s door.

"Now, now, Itachi," Kisame said soothingly, snickering, "We`ll let them do that later, not now. Ya know, in case it gets messy." The shark winked at Kakuzu as Sasori, Itachi, and Pein erupted in fits of laughter.

"We`re just gonna watch a movie, I think," Kakuzu said, trying to keep his anger at a stable level.

"Fuck yeah we`re gonna watch a movie, bitch," Hidan said, walking into the room right at that moment, dragging his sheep on the ground. "Pulp Fiction all the way, motherfucker!"

"Oh goody, you two look like your gonna have bunches of fun tonight, sooo I`m gonna go get Konan now," Pein said, nodding a few times before flinging open the front door and walking out. Itachi grabbed his cell phone and pulled Kisame by his collar towards the front door, smirking.

"See ya," Itachi called back to everyone as he jokingly shoved Kisame out the front door and walking out right behind him.

"I bet you ten bucks that they`re gonna do a lot more than just watch a movie tonight," Hidan said grinning, raising his eyebrows a few times as Sasori laughed.

"Well, I`m gonna go get Deidara because I`m already late, and you guys look really busy, and he probably looks super hot right nooow, so bye," Sasori said hurriedly, walking backwards out the door.

Silence.

"I can tell they love us," Hidan said, nodding his head. Kakuzu just stood where he was, his eyes traveling from Hidan to his empty coffee cup.

More silence.

"Um," Kakuzu muttered, desperately trying to think of something to say. "Pulp Fiction . . . right?"

"Fuck yeah, mofo!" Hidan suddenly yelled in response, running over to the cabinet of movies and pulling out the DVD, sliding it into the disc player.

"Do you want anything?" Kakuzu asked calmly.

"Popcooorn! And candy! And . . . uh, beer! Yeah, beer," Hidan shouted back, kicking up his legs on the coffee table with a satisfied smirk on his face, hugging his sheep.

Once Kakuzu was back with everything, Hidan placed it all in easy-for-Hidan-to-reach order. The Jashinist laid back on the couch, sighing contently as he stared at the Main Menu screen for the movie. Kakuzu blinked, looking at Hidan.

"Are we . . . going to watch it?" Kakuzu asked, obviously confused. Hidan squinted his eyes at the television before looking down at his sheep, hugging it again, causing the stuffed animal to squeak.

Hidan then looked at Kakuzu, blinking a few times before speaking.

"His name is Thor," Hidan said, patting his sheep on the head.

"Wow."

"Yeah. It's short for Thor God of Thunder."

Kakuzu sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. "You never cease to amaze me, Hidan. Really," Kakuzu murmured into his hands.

Hidan grunted in response, seeming to become suddenly tired. "Press plaaay, Kuuzuuu, I`m too lazy," Hidan whined, his voice muffled by his sheep.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and pressed play on the remote, getting up and turning off the lights. Once Kakuzu got back to the couch, he noticed a certain somebody had sprawled themselves over the length of the couch, staring absentmindedly at the television screen.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said simply, staring down at the Jashinist.

"Mm?" Hidan murmured in response, looking up at Kakuzu.

"Move."

"You move, bitch."

"But you're in my spot."

"But I don`t wanna sit up, Kuzu! I wanna lie down!" Hidan whined, sticking out his bottom lip and pouting.

"Then lay your head on my lap or something," Kakuzu said casually, his face burning red when Hidan sat up and gave him a surprised look.

" . . . What?" was all Hidan said, blinking his gorgeous magenta eyes at Kakuzu, who gulped down the lump in his throat and wished he had a Twix bar.

"I-It was just an idea, because you said you wanted to . . . lie down," Kakuzu said, the words awkwardly stumbling out of his mouth. Hidan just continued to stare at the sadist, not making the situation any less pressure-filled.

Kakuzu coughed, suddenly regaining his confidence. "I wasn`t even thinking about it like that, anyway, Hidan. Why are you such a pervert, my God," Kakuzu sighed, rolling his eyes and awaiting Hidan`s overreacted reaction. Which he received.

"What you sayin`, motherfucker?! You`re the one who said it! And don`t you dare say God instead of Jashin in front of me!" Hidan yelled, standing up on the couch and stomping on his poor sheep.

"You`re killing Thor God of Thunder, you know," Kakuzu pointed out, a smirk curving on his lips.

Hidan looked down and stepped off his sheep, sitting back down and hugging the stuffed animal tightly, glaring at Kakuzu. "Don`t you smirk at me, ass hole," Hidan grumbled, looking down at the food in front of him and picking up a chocolate strawberry, engulfing the whole thing in his mouth.

"You know, you`re not supposed to eat the leaves-."

"Shut up, bitch! I can do whatever I want," Hidan shot back, whacking Kakuzu with Thor. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and took a handful of popcorn, lazily eating one piece every couple of seconds.

The two sat there and watched the movie for a good forty-five minutes before Hidan started to become immensely bored. So, he decided the only way to cure his boredom was to throw popcorn kernels at Kakuzu`s head.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said, once the sixteenth out of the forty-nine popcorn kernels fell down his shirt. "Stop it."

"Make me, bitch," Hidan said, throwing another one at Kakuzu, causing it to hit his eye. "Fifty down, fifty to go, motherfucker!"

"Hidan, I swear to Jashin-."

Throw--bing. Throw--bing. Throw--bing. Throw--grab.

"Wow, mofo! That was totally ninja!" Hidan exclaimed in amazement, staring at Kakuzu, who had his fist clenched around the last kernel.

"Hidan, you`re the one that wanted to watch the movie so badly, so watch it," Kakuzu said, calmly placing the kernel on the coffee table. He then stood up and emptied out his shirt of popcorn kernels and swept them all off the sofa, picking them up and throwing them away. "Shit, one fell into my pants."

Hidan burst out laughing, slapping his knee. "Really?" he choked out, stifling his snickering.

"Yes, really," Kakuzu said.

"I could help you get it out, if you want," Hidan said, winking at Kakuzu when the sadist looked up with a slightly shocked expression, causing Hidan to laugh again. Kakuzu just shook his head, going deeper into the kitchen so Hidan couldn`t see him.

Once he was done, he washed his hands and brought out gummy worms to snack on, finding Hidan completely not paying attention to the movie. "Why is this even on if you`re not going to watch it?" Kakuzu asked.

"I dunno- Gummy worms!" Hidan yelled, snatching the bag out of Kakuzu`s hand. Kakuzu grumbled, snatching it back.

"I`ll let you have a few; you don`t need this much sugar," Kakuzu mumbled, sitting down again. Hidan sighed, hugging his sheep and laying down, his head on Kakuzu`s lap. Kakuzu blinked and looked down at Hidan, who was just staring back at him.

"Hidan, I thought we already went over this-."

"Whatever, fucker, I want gummy worms," Hidan said, opening his mouth. Kakuzu swallowed and fought off the blush that was creeping onto his cheeks at the sight of Hidan`s lips opening like that, just wide enough for Kakuzu`s coc-

"Ugghh!" Kakuzu groaned, whacking himself in the head, causing Hidan to tilt his head to the side, confused.

"You gonna be alright there, Kuzu?" Hidan asked, about to say something else but Kakuzu shoved two gummy worms in the Jashinist`s mouth to silence him.

"I`m fine," Kakuzu lied, eating one gummy worm himself.

Hidan happily sucked and chewed on his gummy worms after he played with them and pretended he had a gummy mustache, Kakuzu rolling his eyes at Hidan`s childish ways. After another 30 minutes, they had eaten almost the entire bag of gummy worms, Kakuzu eating two of the last three.

"Dibs!" Hidan called out and stole the last one out of the bag, shooting up from Kakuzu`s lap and wiggling the worm in his face. "Haha, mofo!"

Kakuzu stared at Hidan as the sadist swallowed his gummy worms, narrowing his eyes. "You suck," Kakuzu murmured. Hidan only laughed, slowly sticking the gummy worm in his mouth. "I want it back."

"Ch, well you can`t have it, now can you, fucke-?" Hidan started to tease Kakuzu, a wide grin spread on his face, when suddenly he felt something warm and soft crash onto his lips.

Hidan`s head spinning, he tried to focus on what was currently happening. His vision cleared just enough to see that it was Kakuzu`s lips pressing against his, feeling the sadist's hands place themselves on Hidan`s hips, pulling him closer.

Kakuzu`s tongue licked the roof of Hidan`s mouth, sending shivers of pleasure throughout Hidan`s body. As Kakuzu`s tongue found Hidan`s he lapped at it and smirked into the kiss as Hidan let out a long, startled moan.

Kakuzu placed small chaste kisses on Hidan`s lips as he pulled away, the Jashinist`s eyes fluttering open in confusion. Kakuzu just smirked at him, sticking the gummy worm half way out of his mouth before swallowing it.

"Got it," was all Kakuzu said.

Kakuzu let his head rest on his hand as he stared at the sight before him, one that he never thought would actually happen. Hidan. Blushing, confused, panting . . . submissive, maybe?

"What?" Kakuzu asked, smirking at Hidan, loving every second of this situation. Ch, and Sasori said it would be hard to make the first move.

"Y-You . . . ," Hidan stuttered out, blinking and touching his lips.

"Yes, I am me," Kakuzu teased, leaning back against the couch.

"N-No," Hidan struggled to find the right words. "You just kissed me." It looked like it took a lot to say that, but Hidan was regaining his confidence. So, to knock him down again, Kakuzu spoke with a smirk firmly placed on his lips.

"Did you like it?" Kakuzu whispered, chuckling when Hidan hid his face in his hands. Who knew the Jashinist was so bashful?

"You did like it, didn`t you?" Kakuzu asked, crawling over to Hidan, who looked up just in time to be face to face with his crush. Kakuzu stared down at Hidan, reaching out to stroke Hidan`s cheek, trying to catch Hidan`s eye.

"I didn`t say that I liked it," Hidan said slowly, sitting up straighter, a focused and attempted-serious look on his face. So adorable, Kakuzu thought as his smirk widened.

"Just because you don`t say it," Kakuzu breathed on Hidan`s neck, "doesn`t mean it isn`t true." Kakuzu lightly lapped at Hidan`s neck, kissing his collar bone, then his jaw, before slowly placing his lips on Hidan`s, cupping the Jashinist`s chin with his hand.

Kakuzu was slightly caught off guard when Hidan kissed back, because Hidan didn`t just kiss back. He wrapped his arms around Kakuzu`s neck, moving his body so that he was sitting on Kakuzu`s lap. He let his tongue battle with Kakuzu`s for a while before he let the sadist attack his neck with kisses.

Kakuzu learned quickly that Hidan`s sensitive spot was the area around his adam`s apple, so he abused that spot, nibbling and licking at it continuously, until Hidan was digging his nails into Kakuzu`s back with constant moans erupting from his throat. Hidan slowly shifted his hips forward, making Kakuzu groan and throw his head back slightly, giving Hidan enough time to lightly kiss his neck, sucking and biting long enough to leave a nice mark.

Hidan entangled his hands in Kakuzu`s hair, pulling his small ponytail out, kissing his forehead softly. Kakuzu chuckled and leaned his head closer to Hidan`s neck, nuzzling the soft, pale skin and whispering words into Hidan`s ear, enjoying the wave of scarlet flooding into his cheeks and ears.

"I love you," Kakuzu breathed, leaving a trail of kisses along Hidan`s jaw.

The Jashinist looked at Kakuzu, magenta to green, scrunching up his nose and taking a deep breath before launching himself at the sadist, squeezing the air out of him. Kakuzu struggled lightly to get out of Hidan`s tight hold, looking up at Hidan to see him glaring down at him, but blushing furiously.

"I . . . ," Hidan started, narrowing his eyes at Kakuzu when he raised his eyebrows. "I love you, too."

"Oh wow, you said a sentence without cursing, congratulations," Kakuzu teased, causing Hidan to whack him on the head.

The two of them leaned in and kissed one last time, Kakuzu making sure Hidan`s hair was messed up just the way he liked it. Hidan shifted his position so he was curled up in Kakuzu`s lap, his face buried in the crook of Kakuzu`s neck.

"It`s disgusting how much I love you," Kakuzu sighed, kissing Hidan`s shoulder. The Jashinist hummed in response, pecking his lover on the neck before shutting his eyes.

~ <3